


you've been the only thing that's right in all i've done

by acervate



Category: Falsettos - Lapine/Finn
Genre: Angst, HIV/AIDS, M/M, back at it again with the angst, i give some happy at the beginning and then its GONE, just a lil fic about whizzer dying i guess whoops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-31
Updated: 2018-03-31
Packaged: 2019-04-16 02:58:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14155164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acervate/pseuds/acervate
Summary: When Marvin’s own fingers tighten around Whizzer’s and the softest smile he’s ever seen passes Marvin’s face, Whizzer can’t help but smile back. This is all uncharted territory but he isn’t frightened. If it ends messily, then let it. What’s the worst that could happen?





	you've been the only thing that's right in all i've done

**Author's Note:**

> maybe i'll revise this and make it longer. anyways here's some angst have fun

Whizzer had never expected to fall in love with Marvin.

 

 

He was used to men that stuck around for a month and bought him nice things, their wallets suddenly empty when Whizzer got too mouthy. As tiring as it was, Whizzer wouldn’t change. There were plenty of men in New York with big bank accounts and a hunger that they wanted to satisfy, and Whizzer would be damned if he was going to cower under some stranger he fucked for a few weeks.

 

He had expected Marvin to be no different; the man had been a successful closet case, a wife and kid and everything. But he was handsome and kinder than the others Whizzer normally met, so he sucked him off for free in the bathroom and told Marvin where to call looking for him.

 

Whizzer knew Marvin had cash; when Whizzer asked for dinner, Marvin didn’t balk at his forwardness or try to suggest drinks instead. No, Marvin took him to a nice restaurant and got a hotel room, and wasn’t upset when Whizzer was gone the next morning.

 

Marvin began to pay for more of Whizzer’s things; his clothes, his food, and eventually his bills. Whizzer retained a semblance of self sufficiency by paying his own rent and squirreling away the money he now wasn’t spending, planning on having to fall back on it when Marvin decided that he wasn’t worth it.

 

Whizzer wasn’t sure when Marvin began to mean something to him. Their dates became less dinner and more afternoon jaunts for coffee on Marvin’s breaks at work. Marvin had Whizzer coming to his house more often than not, and once Trina caught them in the den, Whizzer figured he was no worse off sticking around.

 

It had been a few days after that incident that Marvin called Whizzer and gave him a hotel room number. Whizzer showed up and they clawed at each other’s backs with sighs and moans and after it all, Whizzer listened to Marvin talk.

 

He listened as Marvin explained it all, how he met Trina, when he realized he was gay, and how he  _loved_  his family, he really did. Apparently Jason hated him now, and Whizzer watched as an odd expression flickered over Marvin’s face.

 

“Jason asked if you were my boyfriend.”

 

While it was a statement, it has the implication of a question. Marvin didn’t look at Whizzer, simply staring at the ceiling blankly. Something tugged at Whizzer’s chest. Men like this never told their life stories, keeping Whizzer around for a good fuck and some arm candy. Men like this never made him laugh until his face hurt, never made his mind wander to them when they were apart.

 

Whizzer reaches and takes Marvin’s hand.

 

“I’m your lover.” He says. Marvin knows what it means; Whizzer will not change for him. He can consider what Marvin asks of him, but there are no promises. If he can handle all that, then Whizzer won’t flee.

 

When Marvin’s own fingers tighten around Whizzer’s and the softest smile he’s ever seen passes Marvin’s face, Whizzer can’t help but smile back. This is all uncharted territory but he isn’t frightened. If it ends messily, then let it. What’s the worst that could happen?

 

* * *

 

The bar mitzvah had almost gone off without a hitch.

 

Whizzer had just about collapsed as Jason read his prayers, Marvin feeling his body slackening as he strained to reach for Jason once more. Marvin felt Whizzer’s heartbeat begin to pound, his breathing laboring as he whispered  _thank you_ andwas led back to his bed.

 

Charlotte looked Whizzer over while Trina came to stand beside Marvin, her shaking hands rubbing his back. Jason took his hand and held tight, staring at the ground with hunched shoulders.

 

When Charlotte finally moved away, she kissed Whizzer’s forehead. His mouth thinned, he whispered to her before reaching a hand out and muttering Marvin’s name. His eyes were wide with fear, looking paler by the minute.

 

“Hey, it’s okay, it’s okay,” Marvin whispered, back at his bedside in an instant. Whizzer moved to the side to give Marvin room, groaning in obvious pain and exhaustion. Sitting on the bed with Whizzer’s thin legs pressed up against his side, Marvin felt utterly powerless. He cradled Whizzer’s face and ran his thumb across one drawn cheekbone.

 

Trina tried to take Jason’s arm and lead him from the room, but he struggled, pulling his arm from her grasp.

 

“Dad?” Jason’s voice wavered, his wide eyes shining with tears. “Dad, I don’t want to leave.”

 

Marvin froze, finally dragging his eyes from Whizzer’s pained face to his son’s. Trina had her hands clasped, knuckles white as she looked from him to Whizzer. She shook her head in a silent plea.

 

“Marv,” Whizzer’s voice was so quiet he almost missed it. But he was terrified, and Marvin immediately turned back to him. “Marvin, I don’t want him to be here. Not like this.”

 

Marvin nodded and kissed Whizzer’s forehead before gesturing quickly for Jason.

 

“Let him say goodbye.” Marvin muttered, swallowing as Whizzer’s eyes shut tightly, the tears in his eyes welling. Marvin was quick to wipe them away, blinking to keep his own tears at bay.

 

“Whizzer?” Jason’s voice shook, but he didn’t cry. He looked to his father with a wavering hand, unsure of what to do. Marvin reached out and rubbed at Jason’s shoulder as he finally put his hand on Whizzer’s frail arm, his hand tightening around the hospital gown.

 

“I love you, Jason. I love you so much.” Whizzer mumbled. “I’m sorry.”

 

“It’s going to be okay.” Jason said, and he looked again Marvin. “You can’t die. I asked God—“

 

Whizzer began to cough, and Charlotte was there in an instant, pulling Jason away as gently as she could. Jason tried to fight, holding fast to the hospital gown as Trina began to weep.

 

Marvin unfurled his son’s fingers from the cloth and met his eyes, seeing as the realization dawned on his face.

 

“ _No_!” _  
_

Mendel took Jason by his arms and forcibly pulled him away, his own eyes bright as he nodded to Marvin. Jason yelled and fought, finally being taken from the room as Charlotte kissed Cordelia quickly. The door closed behind them as Whizzer’s cough began to ease, his cheeks wet with tears. Marvin shifted, wanting to comfort Jason.

 

“Marvin, Marv, don’t leave.” Whizzer’s voice was weak, shuddering with tears. Marvin shook his head as he held tighter to him, kissing his face.

 

“I won’t leave you. I’ll never leave you.”

 

“I don’t want to die.” Whizzer’s pale hands clutched at Marvin’s wrists, his drawn face white with fright and illness. “Marvin, I don’t want to go.”

 

Marvin choked back a sob as he nodded. “I don’t want you to leave.”

 

Whizzer began to gasp as he wept, his chest falling laboriously. Charlotte began to pull his oxygen over, taking the mask rather than the cannula, but Whizzer shook his head. He began to sob in earnest, his weak voice letting out pitiful cries.

 

“I love you. I love you.  _I’m so sorry_ —“

 

“It’s alright.” Marvin’s body shook as he grabbed Whizzer’s face again and peppered kisses all over his sickly skin. Whizzer began to calm, the fight suddenly going out of his body. His grip was still tight on Marvin’s wrists, but his chest no longer heaved painfully with each breath.

 

Marvin felt Charlotte at his shoulder. She squeezed his arm gently and then reached for Whizzer. She gave him a feeble smile as she rubbed her hand over his bony arm in parting.

 

Marvin leaned back as she whispered to him, quiet enough that Whizzer would not hear.

 

“He doesn’t have long. Maybe an hour.”

 

She left the room, the open door letting in the sounds of the hallway before it closed again with a resounding click.

 

“It’s okay, Whiz. I know it hurts.” Marvin whispered. Truly, he had no idea of the pain; he only knew how how often Whizzer was half lucid with painkillers and how his heart felt like it would crumble each time he looked at his dying lover. “I love you. I’ll always love you. It’s okay.”

 

Whizzer’s grip slackened a bit, and his red, tired eyes opened to meet Marvin’s. After days of cloudiness as Whizzer struggled to stay awake despite his medicine, Marvin finally saw the sharp gaze of the man he loved. But there was no fight, no charming spirit that he was so used to. Whizzer’s eyes were clear, but the terror and resignation made Marvin wish that they were not.

 

“Marv?”

 

“I’m here.” Marvin whispered, taking one of Whizzer’s hands and kissing the bony knuckles. Whizzer’s eyes fluttered open and shut.

 

“Hold me.” Whizzer’s voice was weaker than ever, hardly a murmur in the silent room. The two words slurred together, Whizzer sounding more broken than Marvin had ever heard him.

 

Marvin nodded and laid down on the bed, lying on top of the blanket. He gathered Whizzer in his arms, shuddering at the feeling of his sharp shoulder blades beneath the silk robe. Marvin’s hand went to Whizzer’s hair and carded his fingers through it, a sob breaking from his throat as Whizzer settled his head into the crook of Marvin’s neck. It had been weeks since he’d done this, the knit hat hiding the thinning patches where stress and sickness had made his hair fall out.

 

Whizzer was bigger than Marvin, in stature and in spirt, but now he just felt uncomprehendingly  _small_.

 

“Love you. Love you s’much.” Whizzer slurred. His hand wound in the lapel of Marvin’s jacket, bony fingers shaking as they held the fabric. Marvin put one hand on Whizzer’s chest, his fingers splaying out over the still steady beat of his heart. Marvin focused on that beat, counting each pulse as the reminder that Whizzer was still here with him. He willed for time to slow, to stop in this moment so that Whizzer couldn’t leave him. He was sick, but Marvin was selfish and couldn’t let him go.

 

“Tell Jason...” Whizzer’s lips hardly moved as tears rolled from the corners of his eyes, shining on his pallor skin. “Love ‘im. ‘M sorry.”

 

“He knows.” Marvin promised, kissing Whizzer’s hair. Whizzer sniffed, and with a bit of strength, he tilted his head up and pursed his lips.

 

Marvin kissed him, slowly and gently. Whizzer’s breathing was shallow and sick, but his lips were warm as Marvin kissed him, once, twice, three times before Whizzer put his head back down again, and his eyes fluttered closed.

 

Marvin laid with him until the grip on his lapel slackened and grew cold, until Whizzer’s chest stilled and until the heartbeat under his hand stopped.

 

When the door finally opened and Charlotte’s hand curled around his shoulder once more, Marvin could only lie there, wondering why it took so long for time to finally stop.


End file.
